thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
