That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
