shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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