Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
