i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
