just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
