It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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