I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize