don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
