fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
