I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
foreskin is a definite game changer
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
