I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
