God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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