i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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