I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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