so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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