An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
