Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
