i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
