im drinking this country out of the recession.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
this hospital has no fireball
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
