Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
