I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
