did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
