I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
