no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
