tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I will be naked everywhere
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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