Kiss
Puke
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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