i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
