I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It was confusing and full of hummus
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
This baby is an asshole
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
