YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
