U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
