I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
