Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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