Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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