Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
either way he was missing a nipple.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
