i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
