conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
