Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
