if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
