I don't think brook has ever known best
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
