I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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