we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize