She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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