We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
