I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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