I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
