She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
