Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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