If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
