theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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