If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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